Alcoholism is a Choice

It was a new year’s night when i took my first vodka shot. it tasted hellish. then i took another and another and another.
i swung into another world, a more-self created and self-ruled one. of course it still tasted no better but the feeling was fantastic.
i don’t remember what exactly i felt before that. but after 5 shots and an hour, all the feelings came out amplified. i cried, i laughed, i talked and talked all non-sense. friends were the ultimate bearer . and before you jump on to any conclusions, let me tell you, i am not a party animal. friends were the ultimate bearer.
next morning, it tasted even more hellish. head was spinning. and i had my semester exam after 2 days.
there was no stopping after that. and life became better only after 3-4 shots.
i am no mood to elaborate more of those experiences. they are not as dramatic as we all have already read on net before.
i am rather keen to talk about how and why did i quit drinking. and how things around me, steadily took a U-turn.

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1. “we all want that tree next to our window that we can sit on when we are upset”.

but who controls this idea. our mind. it was the feeling to own that tree that made me happy many a times. the tree never solved my queries, neither it changed circumstances a bit. but it soothed me.
we love to control everything, just to avoid the feeling of unhappiness and anger, related to us. and this includes the behaviour of others. but the truth is, we have no control over anything except our own thoughts. we cannot control circumstances. and that’s where the trouble begins.
But THINKING is not always a problem. it can the best problem-solver as well.
just a small understanding is needed – Putting people where we think they belong, helping them act the way they should act and relying on others to make us happy is unfair to us and them.

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2. ‘better than before’

when i was in school, i always used to compare my marks with my competitors. its been years having completed my school but the sense of comparing and keeping scores never left and it soon followed me while drinking, “lets see, who has the maximum shots?”. high scores always boost up your self-esteem and it shows on your face.

but the real reality is, that ‘we are already worthy, there is no test to pass’. no one is judging you. and if some people are doing so (a normal human tendency).. who cares?
in the end, i have to stand before me and my higher power. and that is all i have to live with.
ask yourself, ‘are you better than you were a year ago?’ if yes, then you should celebrate. you have one more reason to love yourself.

3. ‘find a friend’

i ll not beat around the bush. it is a simple and straight fact. alcohol is an ’emotion-amplifier’, not a friend. in scientific terms, drinking alcohol causes the release of naturally occurring feel-good opioids known as endorphins. and people become addictive even before they realise it.
A friend is one who sits next to you and does not need drinks to listen to you endlessly. thinks for your good and therefore asks you to quit, rather than company. i found that friend, and to my surprise, happiness in small packages were more promising than alcohol. its like creating a gate to that tree.
drinking is not fundamental when it comes to fun. a real friend is.
there are no more hazy or lost moments. the drunken state of numbness has become a thing of the past.
Concluding all, i would say, Focus on your attributes. its your journey, make it amazing.

shikha.singh-SCIT MBA(ITBM)2013-2015