We all come together to celebrate festivals, to celebrate birthdays, to cry on anyone’s sudden demise but Why are we sitting silent when our society is dying every day? Why we don’t discuss the heinous acts happening against women in our society so that at least we start moving to the change in society? I know it is very slow process but we have to start at some point of time.
As we all know what happened, on the unfateful night of 16th December 2012, to the couple who was coming back from a movie show. So repeating the whole incident won’t be in good spirit. It is enough to know that the boy is still in mental trauma and the girl struggled for each and every breath and succumbed to what happened to her. The scars will always be there on her family’s soul and life will never be what it was meant to be. Her dreams shattered, her career was gone in a jiffy, she faced most brutal punishment in this society which I think the culprits will not have even face in Hell and we all know how much our society supports a victim. If she would have survived, it would have taken years of mental support and psychological counseling to get her back to LIFE. She would never had the joy to become a mother in her whole life as her internal organs were damaged and had been surgically removed by doctors. And nobody had any solution to her pain except the will power of the girl to fight with the society, with her soul and with her scars for her remaining life, but God had other plans to save her from this cruel society and she breathed her last after struggling for approximately 1 whole month.
I do not want to talk about the convicts, Oh!! Sorry, the ‘Beasts’ who did this crime as they do not deserve to be discussed in civilized society. Also according to me they don’t even deserve to be hanged till death as it will be very easy punishment for them. Pain of few seconds is not enough for them. Their identity should be disclosed in public and they should get humiliated till they die a natural death. They should die every day with the humiliation our society will give them, and we are the best in this job.
Also, there should not be any excuse that they were drunk. Being drunk does not license anyone to do any crime or to misbehave (read rape) with a girl because even if a person is drunk his mother is still his mother for him, his sister is still his sister for him. He is drunk for all those who are not his mother or sister.
The main reason to discuss this issue among all of us is to stand together against the crime, against the mentality of the crime and at least take measures to change mindset of all the people around us and discuss with as many people as we can. Don’t hesitate to discuss these topics with each other. If we can proudly crack double meaning jokes with each other then why can’t we discuss these topics openly? It will only help our society to improve its standards and rise again. Each of us has women in our home. We have mothers, sisters, daughters, wives, cousins, girl-friends in our life. We all should take equal measures to contribute in rebuilding this society on personal levels. These small inputs will give big profits in long term for our future. Let the political system and social system do their job but we should also realize our responsibility to the society and do not rely completely on political reform. I do not say that the changes will reflect in 2 days or 2 weeks or 2 years but I am sure if everyone feels responsible to improve the society the changes will reflect for our coming generation. Our daughters, sisters, and many other kids, they will have an environment to live their life the same way they want to live.
Now the questions rises what are the basic steps we can take on our part personally??(Not speaking about political changes)
First step is to feel ourselves a responsible citizen of the country who contributes in building strong and safe society to our women. Each and every person counts in this social structure. If you know a person who do not know the consequences of these crime (both on victim and convict), then discuss and share your knowledge with the person who is unaware. Also, ask him that he should also spread awareness so that everyone should have a humanitarian approach and think twice thrice and as many times he can before thinking about the crime, forget attempting the crime.
Secondly, when we talk about giving sex-education to our children, we miss an important step. Nobody tells them about sex-crimes. We teach them don’t kill anyone, don’t rob anyone, stealing is a bad habit then why can’t we teach them that assaulting a girl is also a crime? Why do we miss this important factor? If we think a child is matured enough to be given sex-education then it is also our responsibility to provide knowledge about sex-crimes to the children. This will start a flow of teaching which will continue from generation to generation. Please be friends with your children and talk to them regarding these issues. Hiding the issues from them is not a good solution. Do not fear that they will get spoiled. Today’s generation is mentally strong enough to understand what they are being taught. They should know that in which society they are going to step-in and how they have to cope with it.
Third, Please be brave. If a person is walking outside and he look on someone lying on the road in need of help, and then please stop for a while to provide help. This girl and boy were lying naked on the road, bleeding heavily but not a single passerby stopped for their aid. After 20 minutes a private firm manager from Gurgaon stopped and called help from Police. Please do not think that you will be in trouble. You have done no wrong to the person in need, you just need to sign a legal statement but your efforts will be helpful to the person who may be struggling for his/her life.
Finally, the most important step is to be taken by the women, not the girls but Women of the families. When we talk about the women literacy then the excuse is that a women is responsible for family’s well-being. Similarly a woman is responsible for the customs she plants in her children. When a young girl attains puberty, a mother has loads of things to teach her. A long list of Do’s and Don’ts for the young girl. But why there is not a single teaching for a boy child attaining puberty? Why there is no list of Do’s and Don’ts for a boy? This control on boys should begin in the family itself. Each parent is responsible for a child’s upbringing; especially the mother is responsible as a boy child is considered to be more close to mother. When a boy child reaches the age of 13-14, parents should start talking with the boy about the importance of women in society and why each and every woman in society deserves to be respected. If these things will be in mind since childhood, then the child will grow up in more responsible member of society. Also, at the sensitive age of 16-19 a child has more probability to get tempted by many factors and start misbehaving and do wrong things. Parents should know how to manage their wards at that sensitive age because once you ignore their misbehavior, there is more possibility about the child would become a bad human being and it will not be easy to control him on later age. For this kind of person no one can guarantee what he is going to do in future. Parents should understand that they give these society good human beings, not someone who have a broken soul and can be a danger to the society.
There is only one advice to all men and boys reading this piece, please spread only one message to every male you know:
“Please behave like a MAN, a Human, and justify that you deserve to be a MAN.
God made us physically stronger to protect women and children, not to give them physical, mental or sexual harassment.”
Prateek Patni SCIT MBA (ITBM) 13-15